


Crustless Quiche

by midnightIce, StarWitness



Category: Original Work, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Also not really fluff, Anger, Angst, Army, Assassination, Bad Cooking, Bad Puns, Baking, Breakfast, Bts army - Freeform, Cooking, Crack, Cute, Detectives, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Eating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Food, Jeon Jungkook is So Done, Murder, Quiche, Revenge, See if you can find them, Slow Burn, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Water, bad chef, baking pans, crustless quiche, egg, hehe, jeon jungkook is angry, not really violence, sorry - Freeform, ugly brown shag carpet, yore naym
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightIce/pseuds/midnightIce, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarWitness/pseuds/StarWitness
Summary: You accidentally cause the ending of life by egg. A horrific telling of death by crustless quiche - featuring Jungkook and Yore Naym.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Reader
Kudos: 4





	1. The Beginning and End

Yore Naym slammed the pan onto the table. The watery egg cake inside jiggled at the impact.

"Ew, what is that," intoned Jungkook, eyeing it distastefully.

Yore inhaled forcefully and yanked Jungkook forward by the collar, her fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt painfully. Her eyes bored into his like a laser beam full of malicious intent. She leaned towards his ear and paused before shouting: "CRUST. LESS. QUICHE."

Jungkook raised his eyebrows suspiciously. "What do you mean crustless? It's quiche; it was probably baked; baking pans have corners...or not" He trailed off, noticing Yore's look of obvious contempt and rage radiating throughout the room. 

"IT'S CRUSTLESS QUICHE!"

Jungkook stumbled back from the sheer volume of such a ridiculous accusation. "This quiche clearly did not thicken," he said, slowly backing away. "Maybe you should call it a fritta-"

And suddenly he had egg oozing down his face.

Yore stomped across the kitchen, grabbing the plate of the textured concoction and thrusting it towards Jungkook, who cringed back in horror. Surely she didn't mean for him to eat it? He was, after all, allergic to eggs.

"You. Will. Eat. This." Yore growled, each word emphasized with a step in Jungkook's direction, her hand curling in the quiche -- crustless quiche, mind you-- as he put his hands up in useless defense.

"Yore! Stop! Don't thr-"

And she pulled her arm back and threw. 

A second clump of egg joined the first one plastered across his cheek. The watery, slimy egg mixture slipped off his skin, but Jungkook hardly even noticed, his eyes gleaming with a hatred only Yore could induce. He stepped forward, forgetting his allergy, ready to scream in anger, but instead, he screamed in pain.

Why, you ask? Simple. He's allergic. 

The patch of skin Yore had launched a sticky glob of egg towards was overcome by a throbbing sensation that dug into his skin with the might of a trained army. Jungkook let out a gasp of surprise, the realization that _this was attempted murder_ seeping into his brain cells and making him yearn for revenge.

Instead, he collapsed to the floor.

Yore gasped seeing Jungkook's body crumple like a rag doll, the pan falling from her hands, quiche --apologies, crustless quiche -- spilling across the shag carpet. She fell to her knees before him, shoving his floppy hair from his forehead, and her eyes grew wide as she witnessed the red rash marching across his chiseled jawline, conquering his face plane by plane. She fumbled for his wrist, barely holding back a scream as she pressed shaking fingers to it. _A pulse, any pulse,_ she thought, her breath hiccupping, but her fingers remained insensitive to any sign of life. She sat there, in the midst of spilled crustless quiche, for what could have been an eternity as Jungkook's body slowly took on the color of an inferno. His arm finally slipped from her grasp, flopping uselessly into the puddle of clumpy egg matter. 

What felt like hours slowly ticked by before Yore carefully wiped a tear from her eye, stood up, and shook quiche off her pants. She approached the table and snagged her purse before picking her way across the room to the front door. A second before she slipped out, she looked back at Jungkook, lying facedown on the ugly brown carpet, soaked in watery egg. And Yore couldn't help but allow her lips one final quirk as she stepped out, gently shutting the door behind her. Because, after all. 

She had known he was allergic.


	2. Aftermath

_Aftermath: The Detective Agency, 2 months later_

"What do you mean, _'he just died?_ '" Detective Human slammed his palms onto the wooden desk in anger, his unruly bangs pelting his face as he screamed at his co-workers. "There is egg on his face and this man is a clean freak. He didn't," his spindly fingers rose in mock quotation marks around his face, "'just die!'" His hands dropped to the desk again. "Go find out who all his friends are, what he does in his free time!"

"But, boss, we've already done that. A month ago, nonetheless." 

"Do it again!" _Gosh, he was so sick of his team._

The circle of officers surrounding him dispersed, and Detective Human took a deep breath, massaging his fingers into his skull. He paused for a moment, flipping over his phone, and turning on the screen. A message popped up, blinking up at him. It was from his younger sister.

"I'm making crustless quiche!!!" it read.

He smiled. She was so innocent sometimes.


End file.
